From DreamHost
0. Introduction.
1. One-Click Installs Upgrader!
2. Subversion!
3. MySQL 5!
4. Jabber Talks with Google!
5. Wiki.dreamhost.com!
6. DHSOTM
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0. Introduction.
Mr. Customer, Distinguished Spender of the Money, Member of the Happy
DreamHost Customer Elite, and Keeper of my Wife in Chanel:
Each time I am invited to this rostrum, I am humbled by the privilege,
and mindful of the history we have seen together. We have gathered
under this faithful newsletter in moments of company mourning and
company achievement. We have served DreamHost through one of the most
consequential periods of its history, and it has been my honor to serve
with you.
As we begin our eighth year of this venerable institution, I find it an
appropriate time to prevail upon you with this, my State of the Hosting
Address:
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1. One-Click Installs Upgrader!
In this decisive year, you and I will make choices that determine both
the future and the character of our company. We will choose to act
confidently in pursuing the enemies of security in one-click installs
or retreat from our duties in the hope of an easier life.
However, this is a false choice, for now we can all have both. Thanks to
broad bipartisan support, we now have a one-click upgrader to go with
the unprecedented success of our one-click installer:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=goodies.installer
All citizens of our great web host can visit that same URL, regardless
of age, creed, or questionable origin, and be free from shame or
confusion as they ensure uninterrupted updates of their cutting-edge
web-applications.
And please, I beseech you.. if you have a WordPress install older than
a month, you must take action and upgrade with due haste. Your own
web site barriers could be weak due to security flaws in the system, and
only through the renewing of the Patriot Act and one-click upgrading
will you be able to help us keep those who would seek to destroy us from
taking another step toward their hideous goal.
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2. Subversion!
Yes, there are subversive elements out there. Those who would seek to
undermine the historic, long-term goal of DreamHost - chaos and
un-manageability in multi-user development projects in our world.
These tyrants hope to subvert our goals with the creation of software to
manage these sorts of projects. And then they expect freedom-hating
companies like ourselves to support it.
Well for now, the terrorists have won, as we have indeed added support
for Subversion (http://subversion.tigris.org/) at DreamHost:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=goodies.svn
But this is only one battle.. we shall win the war. Every step away
from freedom in the world makes our company safer, and so we will act
boldly against freedom's cause.
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3. MySQL 5!
Our economy is healthy, and vigorous, and growing faster than other
major industrialized web hosts. Even in the face of higher energy prices
and natural disasters, the DreamHost people have turned in an economic
performance that is the envy of the web. The DreamHost economy is pre-
eminent .. but we cannot afford to be complacent.
In this vein, we are pleased to announce all new MySQL databases being
created are version 5. We are also in the process of getting a bill
passed which will allow for the upgrading of current databases. Once we
have various line-item incompatibilities ironed out, we will be making
the transition wholesale. Patience is a virtue, and we are a virtuous
people.
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=goodies.mysql
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4. Jabber Talks with Google!
In a complex and challenging time, the road of isolationism and
protectionism may seem broad and inviting - yet it ends in danger and
decline.
That Google, one of our greatest allies, has opened their GTalk IM
service to talk with all other Jabber users across this great world of
ours is heartening news indeed.
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=goodies.jabber
We now live in a world where any member of our proud DreamHost nation
may communicate freely and openly with a GTalk-er, and vice-versa.. all
without tariffs, customs, or quotas. And without prejudice.
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5. Wiki.dreamhost.com!
Keeping DreamHost competitive requires affordable documentation. Here we
have a serious problem: America is addicted to the kbase.
The best way to break this addiction is through technology. Since March,
we have spent nearly 10 billion dollars to develop cleaner, cheaper,
more reliable alternative documentation sources - and we are on the
threshold of incredible advances. So tonight, I re-announce the
DreamHost Wiki, now with the entire old Knowledge Base merged into the
Wiki, so you, the people, will be able to visit just one source for all
the latest and greatest DreamHost documentation, all peer-reviewed and
edited and constantly kept up to date.
http://wiki.dreamhost.com/
By applying the talent and technology of DreamHost customers, this
company can dramatically improve our documentation ... move beyond an
employee-based repository ... and make our dependence on the Middle East
a thing of the past.
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6. DHSOTM
The destination of history is determined by human action, and every
great web site in history comes from a vote of choosing. This month, the
vote of choosing has brought to us a DreamHost Site of the Month very
dear to my self:
http://moronlife.com/
A site dedicated to sketch comedy, comedy news, and comedy comedy, it
comes as a beacon of funny in these bleak times.
Today, having come far in our own historical journey, we must decide:
Will we submit our own site to be voted on by our peers in this shining
example of an open democracy, or will we turn back to our shallow
dictatorships and oppressive regimes?
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm
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Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the Internet.
Josh Jones!
P.S. Before history is written down in books, it is written in
newsletters. Like DreamHost Customers before us, you can choose not to
participate in that history and let others lead web hosting's advance.
Just unsubscribe from here, commie:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact
P.P.S. Here's a picture of me delivering this newsletter before the
Senate: http://blog.dreamhost.com/images/senate.jpg
